What It's Like

I recently read a story about a woman who got caught selling her food stamps online.  While I don't endorse or approve of her actions, I was saddened by the number of people who had plenty of unkind things to say about her.  I thought about that old Everlast song, "What it's like", and that most of these people (myself included) probably have no idea what was going on in her life to make her do that, or what it was like to walk in her shoes.  The unfortunate truth is that many people find themselves in desperate situations where they feel they must resort resort to actions that other people might consider extreme and unacceptable.

People have different limits, just like many of us have different definitions of needs and wants.  A philosophy professor once challenged my class with a dilemma: A man's wife is dying and he cannot afford the medicine that will save her life.  Is it ok for him to steal from the drug store to save her life?  Of course, this question was deliberately framed as though there were no alternatives.  Many of my classmates said "no, stealing is never ok", while still others insisted that it would be more wrong to allow her to die.  I think it's impossible for anyone to know for sure unless they're faced with that terrible situation.

I can't remember exactly what our income was when I was a kid, but I think the three of us lived on around $800 a month in SSDI plus another $100 or so in food stamps.  I am tremendously grateful for Government assistance programs, and am extremely empathetic to those who need them.  Unfortunately, many of our elementary and middle-school classmates seemed to have gotten the idea (possibly from their parents) that all welfare recipients are system-abusing, lazy, manipulative people.  Those kids made life suck just a little more.  My dad desperately wanted to work, but he simply couldn't.  We did also benefit from the generosity of other people and family along the way, who gave food, clothing, and other necessities from time to time.

A Trip to Jamaica Helped Me Realize Just How
Grateful I Was for Everything I'd Ever Had

We weren't that bad off, but things definitely got tight from time to time.  The van broke down.  The electric bill spiked.  We had a cold snap and burned through more than our budget of heating oil.  There were times when we felt desperate to just get by, and so we took some desperate measures.  We did some things back then that none of us were proud of, nor would we ever consider doing today - counterfeiting food stamps, writing bad checks, and shoplifting to name a few.  At the time, they seemed like our only options, and they were just a means for us to get by.  My dad knew better.  He taught us better.  He even took the time to explain to us all of the ways that the things we were doing were wrong.  But we did them anyway...because we were desperate.  I regret doing those things.  I'm not proud of what we did in any way, but I can't take any of it back.  I know there are many people who live on much less than we had, but don't resort to such desperate measures.  I think that what they have that we didn't is faith.

Today, I'd like to believe that if my family found ourselves in a similar, jobless, fixed-income situation, that we would be able to survive without taking such extreme measures.  The difference today is that we have strong faith that God will take care of us no matter what happens.  Things might get hard, and times might get tough, but the worst thing that could happen is that we abandon our faith and resort to desperate measures.  I thank God that we are blessed well-beyond what we deserve, and that I haven't had to put this belief to the test.  Yet.  There have been times when I thought I might lose my job, or that tragedy might strike, but our faith gives me great peace that God will meet our needs, and we'll be just fine.

I know it's easy to say "have faith", "God will provide", but I also know what it's like to think that desperate times call for desperate measures.  Having experienced both faithfulness and lack thereof, I'll take faith any day.